Watched a movie about chest hair transplants. Really.

Day 10

"I do want you to know I do look at you and know you're a woman."

"I had grilled cheese sandwich I had to wring out before I swallowed it."

"A hit man would kill everyone in there for under a dollar."

"I had horse urine once and I let em smell it."

"You can disagree with me, but you would be wrong."

"If you can't keep your pants on when I get home from work, then I want you gone."

"Switches and ditches and bitches."

"I like to lick people."

"The only reason they make flavored condoms is so if you get caught in the grocery store, you can eat them!"

She doesn't believe in "normal" education.

Day 9

"Should we all just go home and cry?"

"Twitter is a word in my generation that means something nasty, so don't say it!"

"He had to wait till he was married and his wife was pregnant before he'd actually wear those shoes."

"Have you heard, shut it?"

"You are a bad caregiver."

"You can live as long as you do not get in my way."

"Are we going out and gettin drunk tonight?!"

Only one today, she let us out early!!

Day 8

"Go home, or go out with someone's husband."

So. Tired. Today.

Day 7

"We're gonna start now so shut the hell up!"

"I look forward to not having the women speak at all."

"If I were flatter I would lay down. But I look like the mountain range."

"I'm gonna have prayer while you guys do whatever evil things you do."

"I thought of some real sexual things he could say to her in the hall."

"Acid and free love are no longer kosher."

"Damn. D.I. they'll do anything to make a buck!"

Wait, What?

Day 6

"Would YOU wear pants the don't zip up?!"

"Well you were gaping your legs open!"

"She is so filthy they found her with rat poop all over when she died."

"You cannot believe how many people I know that I know what they should do!"

"I'm afraid not to die. I mean the Depends commercials...ah!"

"Places like that don't have fat people clothes."

"You cant help anybody in the whole freakin world!"

"I love to get men going."

"I am a drunken biosh!"

"I don't want you as an example, you're too smart."

"You have nice teeth...they're kind of like Chiclets though."

"I'm in pain too but am I whining?! No!"

"This is like a golden honey dripping from the mouth of a God."

"I have a throb and you know how it is with a throb."

When the classroom is hot, she let's us out early.

Day 5:

"Does anyone remember when you first had a hormone?"

"There are great schools that are still run by Nuns, men!"

"Hell no you're not getting a car at 16!"

"My family has to have a war or we can't make money."

"Don't bitch at me I didn't make this up!"

"I want to see the breast milk of Mary."

"I am a little old Italian lady, why am I abused like this?!"

"You do have to like ugly children."

"I can't diagnose from here and I certainly can't diagnose without any money."

"I'm gonna get crazy!!"

She's crazy, but she's not drunk.

Well, tonight has started out differently than any other class I've ever taken in my life. Apparently my Professor has been accused of being drunk during class last week! So, she's funny and crazy but DRUNK?! SERIOUSLY? Sometimes I feel like people just look for reasons to be offended. I have the solution to this problem though...find another class!!!!!!

Day 4

"I like to cry...but nothing's very sad."

"I went to the seminar, but by the second day I just went shopping."

"It is NOT fun being beautiful. It is expensive."

"I know everything about the Piano but I can't play it."

"You're not bald you just have more face."

"This has been a friggin rotten day."

"I think it was when I was doing my rope act at Circus Circus..."

"I like the way you did it. Yo Diggity."

"Your laziness is relevant."

"I feel very judgmental about thin women."

"You cannot be a man until I say you are!"

"It doesn't matter what you major in, you can still get in a car accident."

"I've seen No Strings Attached and I can tell you there is no dancing."

3 hours is too long.

Day 3:

"When I was in high school they didn't give an award for the nicest person, which I was."

"You know what, I don't give a crap!"

"I thought adoption was the height of laziness"

"I think you've been drinking!"

"Some resist me...I guess I'm pushy...or scary."

"Maybe I think men are normal because it's all I knew."

"Shorten the story, I'm old!"

"I think people vomit more in California!"

"If you wanna say something, show cleavage."

"Wait a minute Jackass! That was my idea!" (don't worry not, to a student)

"I prayed that sleeping in bed with a German Shepherd wouldn't get me pregnant."

She loves to yell.

Day 2:

"I don't wanna hear this!! Oh heeelllll no!!"

"I feel like I'm in an acid dance!"

"BYU Women professors have mustaches."

"Whose gum is this?" (precedes to eat it)

"I don't get Spongebob either but I would never admit it."

"You're ready to get married when a man gets his ears pierced."

"I'm still doing prisoners, I like them."

"Our whole apartment needed to be evacuated because of my toast!"

"You know, people do have bad breath though."

Not scary crazy, just fun crazy....for now.

I keep posting FaceBook status' about my crazy psych teacher. I thought, might as well have a blog specifically devoted to her "out of the box" sentiments. I imagine there will be more than one status per class, so here we are.

Day 1:

"Cat urine glows in the dark."

"Men with long pointer fingers have more testosterone."

"I never have an original thought, I'm always quoting someone. So if I offend you, it's not my fault."

"When the boyscouts sued me..."